So many of us older women noticed this imbalance years ago , but we learned to bury it, to soften ourselves, to conform to what was expected, because that’s how we survived.
Reading this gives me real joy. There’s something powerful about watching younger women name what we were taught to swallow.
I’m 52 and this resonated with so so deeply. I’ve spent my life doing everything in my power to be the cool girl, the easy wife, the friend who never complains. I’ve woken up now and can see how hard I worked at this pointless task. Half killed myself trying to be something that never felt like me. Why?! I’ve stopped now. I say what I think and what I need now. I say difficult things and there are people in my life who do not like it. But I can’t go back. However uncomfortable I feel or they feel, nothing feels worse than the pretending. Thank you for writing how I feel.
It's funny how ‘high maintenance’ often just means ‘won’t tolerate low effort.’ Language really does the patriarchy’s PR work.
This really made me rethink my youth.
So many of us older women noticed this imbalance years ago , but we learned to bury it, to soften ourselves, to conform to what was expected, because that’s how we survived.
Reading this gives me real joy. There’s something powerful about watching younger women name what we were taught to swallow.
Thank you for writing this so clearly.
Incredible. Will be thinking about this forever.
Thank you for reminding me that my standards are not character flaws or obstacles to love.
I’m 52 and this resonated with so so deeply. I’ve spent my life doing everything in my power to be the cool girl, the easy wife, the friend who never complains. I’ve woken up now and can see how hard I worked at this pointless task. Half killed myself trying to be something that never felt like me. Why?! I’ve stopped now. I say what I think and what I need now. I say difficult things and there are people in my life who do not like it. But I can’t go back. However uncomfortable I feel or they feel, nothing feels worse than the pretending. Thank you for writing how I feel.