wow!! Found this essay through an instagram reel and I am blown away!! the way you have articualted the moral imbalance of expectations and its duality, is impecable.. looking forward to more such written peices
I was also thinking about that founder who said he pays 1 lakh to his house help. People praised him. But I kept wondering… if a woman founder said the exact same thing, imagine how nasty the comments would have been.
Women making money is sane .. it’s society’s reaction to it that’s messed up.
Brilliant. Brilliant. Brilliant. The insights, the direction of thinking, the conclusions, the interpretations, the UNDERSTANDING. This deserves so much more visibility!
life-changing essay. So glad that my mother had already taught me not to be afraid to be hated by people in this patriarchal society...because anyway they will. That's how history built patriarchy to behave like.
I too came here via a reel, and was merry halfway through it because how I actually don't judge women with money because I was raised in a household with double income and my mother was using her money to serve herself as well, and no-one questioned it.
Came back to it a week later to finish it and broke into tears when it called me out for various other ways I do actually judge not just successful, high income women, but also my own mother for not making the "choices" she is obviously supposed to. How when my father says he can't help "that much" in the house because of his job, while mother is just assumed to obviously do that part even when she consistently complained of being exhausted. I obviously owe her and others a apology, considering how I've assumed myself to be free from any and all patriarchal thought-processes. I too have been, maybe not that supportive but still in some way, a part of the problem.
Thank you for writing this. I will always be obliged.
Brilliantly written!! Even though I like to think of myself as a feminist, I realised how much I conveniently chose to ignore, and this essay gave me a better understanding of what it is to be an actual feminist.
This is, by far, the most intellectually arresting and conceptually rich exploration of this topic I’ve encountered. It is incisive, provocative, and genuinely mind-altering
As I started reading, I was intrigued and wondered if the beginning paragraphs are entirely true for everywhere and as I continued reading, I felt seen, I felt tricked by society and I cannot stop sharing this with all my girlfriends who "like money. who want more of it. who will use it to make my life larger and kinder and freer. who will make mistakes. who will not apologise for existing outside the financial comfort of men."
Beautifully written. Thank you for not ending this essay with steps/ways to fix the system, because let’s be honest, we can’t. At least not yet. But by asking us to question ourselves more.
One thing that I want to add for anyone who reads this comment:
When we talk about women who are living off their husband’s money, they contribute towards this pool the most (thanks to all the unpaid labour), but she benefits from it the least. She buys household items and kitchen appliances and thinks of it as buyer convenience for herself when it’s not.
And because these women are not the source of this income, they also don’t get to decide where it’s spent. If her husband wants to give away a large sum to his distant uncle who has gambled away his own money, she can’t advise him not to, well, because it’s “his” money.
Worst of all, even though they are paying for the household with their labour and hence their body, they are never compensated for it. Decades of working tirelessly day in and day out take a toll on her body, and when she reaches her breaking point, she is asked to push further, to overlook it. So many women don’t get the ‘privilege’ of getting expensive medical treatments or procedures, because that money would be better spent on something better, something more meaningful. So when we say that women with their own money are able to buy themselves comfort, we need to remember that this comfort very often means medical autonomy.
wow!! Found this essay through an instagram reel and I am blown away!! the way you have articualted the moral imbalance of expectations and its duality, is impecable.. looking forward to more such written peices
Sameeee I wanna read this again and again
I was also thinking about that founder who said he pays 1 lakh to his house help. People praised him. But I kept wondering… if a woman founder said the exact same thing, imagine how nasty the comments would have been.
Women making money is sane .. it’s society’s reaction to it that’s messed up.
Love This! - “But the cultural software did not update at the same pace as the legal hardware.”
👏👏👏
Came from a reel and boyy this is awesome! Great work! Subscribed for more.
One of your best works till date :)
Brilliant. Brilliant. Brilliant. The insights, the direction of thinking, the conclusions, the interpretations, the UNDERSTANDING. This deserves so much more visibility!
The piece has both fury and sensitivity at the same time. Loved the way you have expressed!!
just so happy to have come across this! it's so well articulated🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
Absolutely brilliant piece of writing. It’s been a while since I’ve read something this impactful. Thank you, Harnidh.
life-changing essay. So glad that my mother had already taught me not to be afraid to be hated by people in this patriarchal society...because anyway they will. That's how history built patriarchy to behave like.
havent read something this compelling in a long while. you did an impeccable job here.
I too came here via a reel, and was merry halfway through it because how I actually don't judge women with money because I was raised in a household with double income and my mother was using her money to serve herself as well, and no-one questioned it.
Came back to it a week later to finish it and broke into tears when it called me out for various other ways I do actually judge not just successful, high income women, but also my own mother for not making the "choices" she is obviously supposed to. How when my father says he can't help "that much" in the house because of his job, while mother is just assumed to obviously do that part even when she consistently complained of being exhausted. I obviously owe her and others a apology, considering how I've assumed myself to be free from any and all patriarchal thought-processes. I too have been, maybe not that supportive but still in some way, a part of the problem.
Thank you for writing this. I will always be obliged.
Brilliantly written!! Even though I like to think of myself as a feminist, I realised how much I conveniently chose to ignore, and this essay gave me a better understanding of what it is to be an actual feminist.
This is, by far, the most intellectually arresting and conceptually rich exploration of this topic I’ve encountered. It is incisive, provocative, and genuinely mind-altering
As I started reading, I was intrigued and wondered if the beginning paragraphs are entirely true for everywhere and as I continued reading, I felt seen, I felt tricked by society and I cannot stop sharing this with all my girlfriends who "like money. who want more of it. who will use it to make my life larger and kinder and freer. who will make mistakes. who will not apologise for existing outside the financial comfort of men."
Beautifully written. Thank you for not ending this essay with steps/ways to fix the system, because let’s be honest, we can’t. At least not yet. But by asking us to question ourselves more.
One thing that I want to add for anyone who reads this comment:
When we talk about women who are living off their husband’s money, they contribute towards this pool the most (thanks to all the unpaid labour), but she benefits from it the least. She buys household items and kitchen appliances and thinks of it as buyer convenience for herself when it’s not.
And because these women are not the source of this income, they also don’t get to decide where it’s spent. If her husband wants to give away a large sum to his distant uncle who has gambled away his own money, she can’t advise him not to, well, because it’s “his” money.
Worst of all, even though they are paying for the household with their labour and hence their body, they are never compensated for it. Decades of working tirelessly day in and day out take a toll on her body, and when she reaches her breaking point, she is asked to push further, to overlook it. So many women don’t get the ‘privilege’ of getting expensive medical treatments or procedures, because that money would be better spent on something better, something more meaningful. So when we say that women with their own money are able to buy themselves comfort, we need to remember that this comfort very often means medical autonomy.