The Power of Earnestness: Why Trying Matters More Than You Think

We live in a time where indifference and nonchalance have been mistakenly labeled as "cool." From how we text to how we present ourselves at work, it feels like the pressure is to act like we don’t care too much. But here’s the catch: earnestness is actually the real superpower.

While being disinterested might seem like the safer choice, it’s actually being 20% more enthusiastic that makes all the difference. Enthusiasm, even at the risk of seeming too eager, creates connections, opens doors, and communicates your commitment. In a world that often values detachment, there’s something refreshing about being the person who cares too much.

Why Nonchalance Feels Cool (But Isn’t)

There’s a reason why we think nonchalance is the ultimate power move. It’s rooted in our fear of giving up control. We often believe that showing too much enthusiasm makes us vulnerable, as if our excitement puts us at a disadvantage. If we appear less invested, we think we’re less likely to be hurt or disappointed. There’s a perceived power in not trying too hard, in keeping our emotions and desires just out of reach. It’s a defensive mechanism, a way to retain the 'upper hand' by appearing unbothered.

But here’s the catch: this approach assumes that power comes from the situation itself—how people perceive you, how much you’re willing to show up, or how much control you maintain over your image. Unfortunately, this reality overlooks a fundamental truth: situations don’t give us inherent power or influence. True power stems from within. It comes from your ability to be your authentic self, irrespective of the risks involved. It’s about showing up fully, even if it means risking rejection or failure.

Hypothetical Example: A vs. B

Consider this hypothetical:

A and B are both talented, driven individuals working in similar roles. They have similar skills and experiences, but there's one key difference. A tends to play it safe—she's careful to never seem too enthusiastic. She contributes when asked, responds in a measured tone, and avoids the risk of being seen as too eager.

B, on the other hand, is unabashedly 20% more enthusiastic. In meetings, she asks questions even if they might seem basic. When a new project excites her, she says so, even at the risk of seeming like a try-hard. She makes a point of thanking her team when they do something well and shows genuine excitement when someone shares good news.

At times, B’s approach may earn her a few eye rolls; she can come off as a bit too much. But here’s the twist: her enthusiasm is contagious. Over time, people find themselves drawn to her energy, and they start involving her more in projects. Her visible interest signals to others that she’s invested, and it pays off—she gets invited to events, receives more feedback, and builds stronger relationships with her colleagues and clients.

Meanwhile, A, despite her competence, finds herself somewhat overlooked. Her restraint gets mistaken for disinterest, which limits her opportunities. Her approach doesn’t make a strong impression, and as a result, she struggles to build rapport.

The takeaway? Even if B sometimes seems overly earnest, her willingness to care more gets her noticed and opens doors. Her enthusiasm becomes her differentiator, while A’s careful nonchalance keeps her at arm’s length from potential opportunities.

Why Being 20% More Earnest Works

1. Earnestness Builds Trust: People trust those who are genuine. If your enthusiasm is real, it will be contagious. Others are more likely to respond positively to sincerity than they are to cynicism.

2. It Shows Commitment: In any interaction—whether professional or personal—enthusiasm demonstrates a willingness to invest energy. It signals that you're there because you want to be, not because you have to be.

3. It’s Rare: Most people are playing it safe. Earnestness stands out simply because it’s uncommon. While many hold back in fear of seeming naive or overly keen, the truly bold are the ones willing to show up fully.

4. Joy Is Magnetic: People are naturally drawn to those who radiate joy. It’s the difference between a conversation that sparks ideas and one that drags on aimlessly. Joy, fueled by genuine interest, makes interactions memorable.

5. It Sets You Apart: In a sea of indifference, earnestness becomes the differentiator. People remember the ones who tried—the ones who cared enough to be curious, joyful, and truly invested.

How to Cultivate Earnestness in Everyday Life

1. Lead With Curiosity: Ask more questions. Be curious not just for the sake of it, but because you truly want to understand more. Curiosity is the quickest way to show your interest.

2. Don’t Shy Away From Excitement: If something excites you, let it show! Whether it's a new project, a conversation topic, or a skill you've mastered, wear your excitement openly.

3. Be Present: One of the biggest markers of earnestness is presence. Listen deeply, respond thoughtfully, and be engaged in the moment—whether it’s a meeting, a catch-up with a friend, or even a phone call.

4. Overcome the Fear of Being Too Much: The fear of being 'too much' holds many of us back. Let go of it. Be as much as you are. The right people will appreciate your passion, and the wrong ones were never meant for you anyway.

5. Practice Gratitude: Gratitude cultivates joy, and joy reinforces earnestness. Express gratitude for people’s time, efforts, and perspectives. This reinforces your genuine interest in your interactions.

In a world that prizes distance and coolness, let’s embrace the underrated superpower of being earnest. It may feel risky to be 'too much,' but the truth is, it’s the only way to be truly unforgettable.