Knowing When to Move On

The Crossroads of Realization

We often find ourselves at a point where something—be it a job, relationship, or routine—no longer aligns with who we’ve become. This realization is not sudden; it’s often a slow burn, an unsettling feeling that you can’t quite name until it becomes impossible to ignore. It’s not just about acknowledging what isn’t working; it’s about confronting what once did work and accepting that its purpose has now been fulfilled.

Be Kind in the Process

We tend to be harsh critics of our own growth, questioning why we stayed so long in situations that no longer felt right. But remember, the process of recognition itself is an act of self-compassion. You stayed because you believed in the possibility of improvement, the potential of what could be. Forgive yourself for staying, and congratulate yourself for realizing it's time to go.

A Personal Experience

Some time ago, I found myself at a tiny startup, completely broken. I was scared and lost, desperately looking for a way out. I became convinced that an MBA was the only viable next step, not because it was truly what I wanted, but because my brain was so fried that it seemed like the option with the least barrier to both entry and exit. I just needed something—anything—to cling to. It wasn’t the right time for me by far, but in the fog of burnout, I couldn’t see that clearly. This was a harsh lesson in understanding how deeply feeling trapped can cloud judgment, making even the most daunting options seem like lifelines. So when I give this advice, it’s not just theoretical; it’s a real journey I’ve been on.

Recognizing the Privilege to Walk Away

Let’s be real: being able to walk away from a situation that no longer serves you is a privilege that many don’t have. Sometimes, financial obligations, family pressures, or lack of opportunities make it impossible to leave, even when the need to do so is clear. I understand this deeply. But even in situations where a complete exit isn't feasible, small, meaningful steps can help you regain a sense of control over your destiny and career.

Whether it's upskilling, reaching out to people, or simply taking the time to rediscover who you are, these micro-actions can create a sense of momentum. It’s not about making grand leaps—it’s about taking small, intentional steps toward the life you want to build.

Your Resume: A Professional 'Go Bag'

Your resume, or even a personal list of achievements, should be something you’re constantly refining. Think of it as your professional ‘go bag’—your ‘ticket out of nowhere.’ Just like you’d ensure your travel documents are always updated, keep your resume or profile current with weekly or monthly updates. Dump your achievements somewhere, however small, because when you reach that point of wanting to run, you'll often feel blank and incapable of piecing together a strong case for yourself. This proactive habit makes it easier to pivot when the moment comes.

The Trap of Planning Ahead

When we’re ready to move on, planning our next steps can feel daunting. The sensation of being stuck—like an animal trying to claw its way out—can be overwhelming. The key here is to pause, breathe, and understand that feeling trapped is valid but temporary. It’s not a reflection of your abilities, but a consequence of circumstances.

Override Your Baser Instincts

The fight-or-flight response often kicks in during transitions. It’s tempting to make a rash decision or cling to the familiar. But moving on effectively requires strategic thinking—pushing your instincts aside to focus on what’s truly next. Create a clear, if imperfect, roadmap. This might mean setting small, tangible goals or even allowing for a phase of rest before launching into something new.

Talk is Good, Action is Better:

1. List What No Longer Serves You: Write down what feels misaligned. Seeing it on paper can clarify why it’s time to let go.

2. Self-Compassion Check: Reflect on what you've gained, even from situations that no longer serve you. This acknowledgment is crucial for closure.

3. Micro-Planning: Don’t overwhelm yourself with a grand plan. Start small—whether it’s updating your resume, opening up new conversations, or simply taking a mental health day to clear your mind.

4. Allow Yourself to Rest: Before jumping into the next thing, allow a brief phase of rest. Even if it's just for a week, give yourself a break to reset your energy.

5. Create a Support System: Seek mentors, friends, or therapists who understand this phase and can offer a sounding board as you transition.

6. Keep a ‘Go Bag’ of Achievements: Regularly update your resume or a list of who you are and what you add to the world. It’s your safety net for when clarity strikes and you need to make a move.

The Art of Moving Forward

Moving on—whether in your personal or professional life—is a skill that requires a mix of honesty, courage, and patience. It’s not just about acknowledging what isn’t working; it’s about having the self-awareness to recognize that you’re allowed to outgrow roles, relationships, or even dreams. This process can be emotionally charged, and it’s easy to let guilt, fear, or a sense of obligation hold you back. But growth often requires release, and letting go can be a powerful act of self-respect. You have to trust that you’re not leaving something behind without cause; you’re making room for the next version of yourself.

The journey to moving on is rarely linear. It can be messy, and it often requires multiple attempts before real clarity emerges. Remember, you don’t need to have all the answers immediately—taking even the smallest steps toward change is progress. Embrace the discomfort, leverage your support system, and always have that ‘go bag’ ready. Moving forward is about reclaiming your agency and building a life that aligns more authentically with who you are becoming. So, as you navigate this path, remind yourself that moving on is not an escape but an arrival—an arrival at a place where you feel more whole, empowered, and ready for what’s next.