High-Quality Work and True Rest

A Love Story

Work-life balance sounds like one of those things that look great on a Notion board but feel like a fever dream in real life. This is especially true if you’re a young founder, a first-time manager, or a woman trying to juggle ambition with the 1,001 micro-responsibilities that never make it to your LinkedIn bio.

But here’s the thing I’ve been thinking about a lot lately: the quality of our work directly affects the quality of our rest. And vice versa. Half-assing your to-do list all day leaves you feeling like you never really worked, and also like you don’t deserve rest. On the other hand, focused, satisfying, done-and-dusted work? That gives your brain permission to shut up at night. It’s freeing. It’s grounding. And for some of us, it’s revolutionary.

When You Work Like Meh, You Rest Like Meh

You know those days where you’ve been “working” all day, but actually just bounced between Slack, emails, Instagram, and 25 open tabs? Then 7 PM hits, and you feel more fried than productive, but still can’t switch off? Yeah. That’s the hidden cost of what psychologists call the Zeigarnik effect: our brains are little drama queens about unfinished tasks. They just won’t let it go. When we leave things incomplete, our brains create a state of tension, with intrusive thoughts nagging us to finish the job​.

Research shows that leaving stuff halfway actually keeps our stress levels high—even after we log off. It’s like carrying around mental browser tabs that never close. No wonder we end up scrolling doom loops or randomly vacuuming at 10 PM.

“Half-work” drains you. Productivity experts like James Clear use the term “half-work” for when we split our attention – for example, writing a report while constantly checking messages​. You might think you’re saving energy by coasting at 50%, but the opposite happens: it takes you twice as long to accomplish half as much​.

The work stretches into your personal time, and you never get that satisfying feeling of completion. Researchers Oliver Weigelt and Christine Syrek found that having unfinished tasks at week’s end led to lower relaxation and more ruminating about work over the weekend​. People even felt compelled to log back on during days off to gain “peace of mind” by finishing those tasks – a quick fix that, ironically, prevents real psychological detachment from work

So ironically, trying to “take it easy” at work often means we never really rest. Half-work means double-stress. And it builds. Over time, that internal static becomes burnout. Not the dramatic, flaming-out kind. The low-grade, background-noise kind that makes your days feel like molasses.

The psychological toll of half-hearted work can show up as what many founders and go-getters dread: burnout. Instead of feeling proud after a day’s work, you end up feeling guilty or anxious, thinking “I should have done more” or worrying about what’s left undone. Over time, this persistent stress can erode your mental health. In fact, people who consistently overwork (often a result of never working with full focus and never fully resting) are twice as likely to suffer from depression or other symptoms of burnout​. It’s a vicious cycle: you’re exhausted from half-working, yet you can’t relax because you never really stopped “working.” Breaking this cycle starts with recognizing that working in a more wholehearted, focused way – and then firmly stopping – is essential for mental well-being.

The Discipline of Doing Absolutely Nothing

It sounds almost paradoxical – needing discipline to rest. But truly unplugging can be a serious challenge. “Anti-work” rest doesn’t mean being anti-work in attitude; it refers to rest that involves no work at all – not even the mental kind of work. Think of it as the opposite of sneaking a glance at your email on a Saturday, or taking a “relaxing” evening off only to half-focus on a work proposal. Anti-work rest is genuine downtime untainted by the pressures of productivity. And achieving it often requires setting firm boundaries and resisting the itch to “just check one thing.”

Why is doing nothing so hard? One issue is the internalized guilt or anxiety many high achievers feel when they’re not actively being “productive.” We live in a society that often equates our worth with our output – so simply resting can trigger FOMO or a sense that we should be doing something. Tricia Hersey (founder of The Nap Ministry) famously says rest is a form of resistance. By deliberately not working, especially in a culture that glorifies busyness, you “disrupt” the cycle that says you must grind to have value​. In other words, giving yourself permission to truly rest – nap, daydream, do something purely for pleasure, or do nothing at all – is a way of saying your life is more than just your work. This mindset can be especially powerful for those who feel chained to the grind.

Of course, resting well is easier said than done. It takes planning and discipline to create work-free zones in your life. Some companies are recognizing this: for example, France enacted a “right to disconnect” law that allows employees to ignore work emails and calls outside working hours​. This kind of formal boundary underscores that employees shouldn’t be on the clock 24/7. But even if your workplace doesn’t have a policy, you can adopt personal rules: set an evening cut-off time for checking email, turn off notifications during weekends, or use your phone’s downtime settings to enforce breaks. Rest, like work, benefits from routine – it might mean scheduling a daily walk at lunch where you purposely don’t think about work, or keeping your Sunday as a sacrosanct no-work day.

Crucially, anti-work rest is not “wasted” time. It’s recovery time. Detaching from work and giving your brain true rest improves various aspects of well-being and even boosts next-day performance​. So, taking an evening completely off or enjoying a vacation without a laptop in tow isn’t slacking – it’s refueling. In practice, this might feel like telling yourself: “Yes, the to-do list is long, but I will be better able to tackle it after I’ve rested.” It takes some self-discipline to stick to that conviction when an urgent email pings at 9 PM, but protecting your rest time is a habit you build. Over time, you’ll likely notice you come back to work sharper and more creative. As one expert noted, when we prioritize well-being, our decision-making and productivity improve dramatically​– meaning rest isn’t the opposite of ambition, but part of a sustainable path to achieving it.

Why This Hits Women Differently

Let’s not pretend work-life balance is the same game for everyone. For a lot of women, especially in cultures like ours, “balance” just means two full-time jobs: the one you get paid for, and the one no one really talks about—housework, caregiving, emotional labour. The second shift starts when the Zoom calls end.

Stats back it up: women spend 3x as much time on unpaid domestic work as men. So when we talk about “burnout,” it’s not just a corporate buzzword—it’s a structural issue. And telling women to “take better care of themselves” without shifting these burdens? That’s not self-help. That’s gaslighting.

There’s also a cultural angle: for decades the media held up the image of the “superwoman” who could do it all – climb the corporate ladder, raise perfect kids, keep a pristine home, and look cheerful through it all. Feminist scholars like Bell Hooks and others have critiqued this, noting that such narratives ignore the support systems and structural changes needed. Even the popular “Lean In” advice (from Sheryl Sandberg) faced backlash for implying women should simply push harder. Michelle Obama famously remarked that “it’s not always enough to lean in, because that s**t doesn’t work all the– a blunt acknowledgment that individual effort has limits when the game is rigged.

Research backs this up: a Duke University study showed that people who read “empowering” Lean In-style messages were actually more likely to blame women for any lack of career success, whereas those who learned about systemic barriers were more understanding of the need for workplace reform​.

The takeaway?

Work-life balance isn’t just a personal productivity issue; it’s a feminist issue, too. It calls for rethinking workplace policies (like flexible hours, parental leave, equal pay) and home dynamics (like men taking on equal shares of housework and childcare).

All this matters for achieving genuine rest because if a woman is expected to be “always working” in one form or another, when does she get to rest? If after your paid job you’re immediately on to cooking dinner, helping with homework, and doing laundry, you may not see a free hour until late at night – at which point sleep often loses out. Society’s expectations can thus breed a cycle of exhaustion in women. Recognizing and addressing these inequities is key to carving out real rest time. It might mean having frank discussions at home to redistribute chores, or advocating for supportive policies at work (e.g. the ability to actually disconnect after hours without penalty). The bottom line is that no one – male or female – can achieve work-life harmony if “life” leaves no room to breathe. For women, reducing the total workload (paid + unpaid) is often a prerequisite to finding any balance at all.

It’s Not the Hours. It’s the Energy.

Here’s the good news: this isn’t about working less. It’s about working better. More focused. More human. Less leaky. One study found that each extra 10 hours of vacation time led to an 8% improvement in performance reviews. You know why? Because rest fuels sharpness. Creativity. Sanity. A well-rested brain is a powerful thing.

And you don’t have to be some monk-like minimalist to feel the shift. Even founders and high-performers who take small, consistent breaks end up making better decisions. That’s the real kicker—rest isn’t the opposite of ambition. It’s what makes ambition sustainable.

If you need more convincing, consider the mental health aspect: entrepreneurs are notably prone to burnout. One study at UC Berkeley found that 72% of entrepreneurs reported being directly or indirectly affected by mental health issues, significantly higher than other groups​. This doesn’t mean entrepreneurship is doomed, but it highlights how common it is to struggle when work-life balance is off-kilter. Many founders find that scheduling down time – whether it’s a daily workout, time with family, or a hobby completely unrelated to work – actually makes them more effective in the long run. It prevents the kind of tunnel vision and chronic stress that can lead to bad decisions (or personal breakdowns). As Arianna Huffington says, “life should come first” and work will not suffer for it​– on the contrary, a thriving personal life can fuel a thriving career.

Okay, So What Do We Do?

Balance isn’t a spreadsheet. But here are some practical nudges that help me, and might help you too:

You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight or achieve some perfect 50-50 Zen state to reap the benefits of better balance. Small, practical steps can make a big difference.

1. Work Smarter, Not Longer: During work hours, commit to focus. Try working in distraction-free sprints (e.g. Pomodoro technique or time blocks) where you eliminate “half-work” temptations (no toggling between a project and Twitter). By being fully present, you’ll get more done in less time​. This means fewer loose ends at day’s end – so you can truly clock out mentally.

2. Set Hard Stop Times (and Stick to Them): Establish a reasonable end to your workday and honor it. In a remote-work world, it’s easy for work to bleed into the night. Instead, treat your end-of-day like a meeting – when the clock hits, you stop. If needed, create an end-of-work ritual: write down tomorrow’s to-dos (externalize them so your brain lets go), shut down your computer, and physically leave your workspace. This boundary protects your evening. Remember, after-hours emails can usually wait (and in many countries, you have the right to ignore them​).

3. Embrace “Anti-Work” Breaks: Schedule tech-free, work-free breaks into your day. It could be a 15-minute mid-morning break where you stretch or walk, a real lunch away from your desk, or a policy of no meetings after 5 PM on Fridays. During these breaks, resist the urge to “just quickly” handle a work task. Give your mind a chance to wander or rest – this boosts creativity and reduces stress​. Think of these as mini vacations that recharge you for the tasks ahead.

4. Protect Your Sleep and Downtime: Prioritize sleep as non-negotiable. Set a bedtime if you have to, and create wind-down routines (reading, listening to music, etc.) to detach from the work buzz. Likewise, plan downtime activities that you love – whether it’s going to the gym, cooking, gaming, or family time – and treat them like important appointments. When you have something joyful or relaxing to look forward to, it becomes easier to stop working and harder for work stress to invade your headspace.

5. Learn to Say No (Gracefully): You cannot do everything. Setting boundaries often means saying no to additional commitments that would overload you. This might mean turning down extra projects or social engagements that feel more draining than rewarding. As the saying goes, “Don’t pour from an empty cup.” By protecting your time, you ensure you have the energy for what you have to do and what you truly want to do. If saying no is hard, remember that every yes to something is implicitly a no to something else (often your personal well-being). Prioritize and give yourself permission to decline or delegate.

6. Share the Load (Especially at Home): If you have a partner or family, communicate about balancing responsibilities. It’s important that one person doesn’t carry all the household or caregiving tasks. Have honest conversations about dividing chores fairly, outsourcing tasks (if feasible) like cleaning or grocery delivery, or enlisting help from relatives when you need a break. Work-life balance is much easier when life duties are shared. This is crucial for women who’ve been taught to “do it all” – unlearn that! Ask for help without shame. It benefits everyone in the long run, including kids who get a happier, healthier parent rather than a perpetually stressed one.

7. Leverage Flexibility, Don’t Abuse It: Many modern workplaces offer flexibility (remote work, flexible hours). Use these perks smartly – e.g., to schedule work around your most productive times, or to attend personal needs – but beware of the trap of working all the time just because you can work anytime. Set a routine even within flexibility. For instance, if you work early mornings best, start early but maybe log off earlier too. Define your “office hours” to avoid work creeping into every corner of your day.

8. Mindfully Disconnect and Reconnect: When you’re off work, really be off. Put the phone on Do Not Disturb, or use apps that block work-related sites after hours. It might feel odd at first, but you’ll get used to it. And when you’re on work time, try to be fully on – so tasks don’t protract into the night. Essentially, be present in whichever mode you’re in. This mental discipline takes practice, but it’s at the heart of work-life harmony.

9. Redefine Success for Yourself: Finally, let go of extreme ideals. You don’t have to wake up at 4 AM, meditate for an hour, work a 12-hour shift, then cook a perfect meal and journal for two hours before bed – that’s Instagram fantasy, not real life! Sustainable balance means sometimes work wins, sometimes life wins, and that’s okay. Maybe you’re crunched during product launch week (work spikes up), but then you compensate with a lighter week after (life takes priority). Aim for an overall equilibrium across weeks and months, not every single day. Be kind to yourself if the balance tips occasionally – just course-correct before it tips too far for too long.

The thing I’m learning is: this isn’t about balance. It’s about integration. Good work and real rest are two sides of the same coin. You don’t have to sacrifice one for the other. In fact, you shouldn’t. When your work has a purpose, and your rest has permission, something shifts. You come back sharper. Kinder. More you.

So no, I don’t have it all figured out. Most of the advice here is more to myself than to you- I fail at almost all of these religiously. But I’m working better these days. Resting better, too. And that’s a pretty good place to start.