From Girlie to Girlie: Money Truths Every Woman Should Know (That We Should’ve Learned at 20)

Because financial freedom shouldn’t be gatekept by generic advice.

No one ever really taught us how to handle money.

Not in school, where we learned to calculate compound interest but never how to invest.
Not at home, where financial talk was often kept hush-hush or handed off to the men.
Not in relationships, where equality was split 50/50, except when it came to actual power.

Most financial advice out there doesn’t see us.
It’s built for a different default: a two-income household, minimal caregiving responsibilities, and generational financial literacy already in place.

But many of us are the first.
The first in our families to earn like this.
The first to ask questions.
The first to say, “wait, this doesn’t add up.”

And when we feel behind? It’s not because we failed.
It’s because the rulebook wasn’t written with us in mind.

This isn’t a list of generic tips.
It’s a list of lived truths I wish I’d known at 20.
Built for you, not the myth of who women are “supposed” to be.

1. Have Two Emergency Funds

One for survival. One for escape.

Most women are told to have an emergency fund. But here’s what they don’t tell you: not all emergencies are created equal.

A standard emergency fund covers things like:

• Medical expenses

• Job loss

• Family crises

But the second fund is for reclaiming freedom:

• To walk away from a toxic job

• To leave an unsafe or unequal relationship

• To exit a city that’s draining you

• To take a break when burnout happens

Too many women stay stuck because their only option is survival. A freedom fund creates optionality. It’s emotional insurance. It’s a safety net with dignity.

How to build it:

• Set a monthly auto-transfer. Even ₹1,000 counts

• Don’t keep it with your joint or main savings

• Name it something real: “Get Out Fund.” “Plan B.” “Reset Cushion.”

This isn’t just about money. It’s about power.
Power starts with the ability to leave when something no longer serves you.

2. Budget By Time, Not Just Categories

You don’t spend based on categories. You spend based on moods.

No one’s thinking, “Oh, I’ll now spend ₹500 on ‘entertainment.’”
You’re thinking, “I’m exhausted. I deserve this. I’ll just order in.”

Budgeting advice often assumes women are cold, rational calculators. But we live in cycles:

• Hormonal cycles

• Energy cycles

• Work and social cycles

• Family or caregiving obligations

So why don’t our budgets reflect that?

Try this instead:

• Track spending by mood or phase

• Compare “high-stress weeks” vs “low-activity weekends”

• Notice if you're more impulsive during ovulation, PMS, or late nights

• Budget for self-soothing. Not as a failure, but as forecasting

This allows compassion to meet structure.

If your money is bleeding from unspoken emotions, you don’t need guilt.
You need patterns. And a plan.

3. Assume You’re the Breadwinner

Even if you aren’t today, build like you might be tomorrow.

Women are conditioned to expect support.
But modern life often flips the script.

Maybe your partner quits.
Maybe you out-earn them.
Maybe marriage isn’t even part of your plan.
Maybe it’s your parents who end up relying on you.

When you assume you’ll never be the financial fallback, you build fragile.

Instead:

• Get insurance in your name

• Know how much a child actually costs

• Start a retirement plan early, especially if your income will ebb due to caregiving

• Think of real estate, upskilling, and long-term investing as things you alone will own

You don’t have to carry the world. But you should know you can if you have to.

The more capable you feel, the more choice you have.

4. Build Credit in Your Name

Not joint. Not shared. Yours.

Here’s something that’s not talked about enough:
Your financial identity should stand on its own two feet.

Not your dad’s co-sign.
Not your partner’s limit extension.
Not the ‘family’ CIBIL score.

Just. You.

Credit isn’t just about being able to take a loan. It’s about:

• Renting a house without your uncle on the lease

• Getting a business credit card without begging a co-founder

• Having proof of reliability when the system wants to doubt you

Actionable steps:

• Get a credit card in your name, even if it’s a low-limit starter

• Use it for recurring expenses (Netflix, groceries, bills) and auto-pay

• Check your credit score quarterly. It’s your financial report card

Autonomy isn’t a mindset if your money is still signed by someone else.

5. Automate, But Don’t Abdicate

Automation is ease, not absence.

We love a good auto-debit. SIPs, rent, savings, it’s a form of delegation.

But too often, we treat it like a black box:
“I set it and forgot it.”
...and then forgot everything else too.

Automation should reduce effort, not awareness.

Here’s what to do instead:

• Review your investment performance quarterly

• Add a 15-min calendar invite: “Where’s my money going?”

• Compare growth vs. inflation. Is your portfolio working for you?

• Ask: is your money aligned with your current risk tolerance or just leftover decisions from 3 years ago?

Think of it like meal prep.
Yes, you plan ahead, but you still check the expiry date before eating.

You deserve to know what your money’s building.
Because if it’s not building your life, it’s just buffering someone else’s.

6. Fund Learning Like You’d Fund a Wedding

Your pivot is a life event. Treat it like one.

We’re conditioned to pour lakhs into events:

• ₹12L for a wedding

• ₹20L for a car

• ₹1L for a vacation

But ask a woman to spend ₹1L on her own education, career shift, or upskilling?

You’ll hear: “That’s too much.”

No. It’s not.

Learning should be a line item.
Not a leftover, not a luxury. A strategic investment.

Courses. Certifications. Exams. Coaching.
Whatever takes you from where you are to where you need to go.

Here’s the mindset shift:
→ Don’t think of learning as “spending.”
→ Think of it as acquiring leverage.

A ₹75K course that gets you a ₹5L salary bump is better ROI than any MF.

Your brain is an appreciating asset. Treat it like the most expensive thing you own.

7. Track Wealth, Not Just Expenses

You’re not just spending. You’re building (or leaking) value.

Most women who want to “get better with money” start with budgeting.
And that’s good. But it’s not the whole picture.

Tracking expenses tells you where your money goes.
Tracking wealth tells you what your money is doing.

Here’s what wealth tracking means:

• Net worth (assets – liabilities)

• How much is liquid (can be used now) vs. illiquid (locked up)

• Monthly growth or decline in your financial position

• Percentage of debt paid down over time

Why this matters:
You could have a tight budget, low expenses, and still… be going nowhere.
Or worse, be accumulating quiet debt.

Tools:
Use apps like Zerodha Kite, INDmoney, Cube Wealth, or a simple Google Sheet.
Review once a month. Treat it like a check-in with Future You.

You don’t need to be rich to track wealth.
You need to track your wealth to stop staying broke.

8. Learn to Read a Payslip & P&L

You’re not annoying for asking. You’re financially literate.

Corporate gaslighting thrives when you’re in the dark.
And it starts with the basics: your salary slip.

Know what you're looking at:

• Gross vs. net pay

• Deductions: PF, TDS, professional tax

• Variable vs. fixed components

• ESOPs, bonuses, reimbursements

• What counts towards your retirement funds, and what doesn’t

Then go deeper:
Learn to read a P&L (profit & loss statement).
Not because you’re a finance bro, but because every job you do impacts that sheet.

Understanding margins, cost centers, and revenue lines = career leverage.

When you understand money on paper, people stop talking at you.
They start negotiating with you.

9. Think of Rent as Buying Flexibility

Owning is not always the power move.

There’s an unspoken pressure in Indian households:
“If you’re serious, you buy. If you’re still figuring it out, you rent.”

But that narrative forgets what rent gives you:

• Geographic freedom

• Job-switching agility

• Zero property tax, loan stress, or maintenance costs

• The ability to opt out of stagnant or toxic family setups

Owning is great: if it fits your life stage, your city, your career arc.
But renting isn’t a failure. It’s a feature.

Agility is underrated. And for ambitious women, agility is strategy.

What to ask yourself:

• Does owning tie me to a life I no longer want?

• Am I being told to “invest” in property I don’t even plan to live in?

• Would that money serve me better in the market, or in myself?

Rent isn’t dead money. It’s alive with possibility.

10. Monthly Money Dates With Yourself

If you can’t spend 30 minutes managing your money, you’ll spend a lifetime stressed about it.

You show up for meetings. Doctor appointments. Birthdays.
But when’s the last time you showed up for your financial self?

The monthly money date is a practice of intimacy with your future.
It’s not a punishment. It’s power.

Set aside 30 minutes every month. Non-negotiable.

Check:

• Your bank balance

• Upcoming expenses

• How investments are performing

• Any weird subscriptions draining you

• Debt payoff progress

And more importantly:

• How do you feel about money this month?

• What caused unexpected spend?

• What wins should you celebrate?

Use a notebook, spreadsheet, or app. Light a candle if that helps. Make it ritual.

Financial avoidance is not a personality trait. It’s a trauma response.
And rituals help you heal what hustle culture asked you to ignore.

11. 50/50 Is a Scam

Equality isn’t about numbers. It’s about context.

“Let’s split the rent!”
“Let’s go Dutch!”
“Let’s be modern!”

Sounds fair, right?
But is it, actually?

If you’re:

• Earning less

• Doing more emotional/household labor

• Compromising your career for their convenience

• Absorbing childcare, eldercare, or even just the mental load...

...then 50/50 is not equality. It’s a discounted deal on your effort.

Money math must include:

• Unpaid labor

• Unequal opportunities

• Who bears the long-term career penalties

Because splitting bills is meaningless if you're carrying more of the weight.

If they want equal contribution, they need to sign up for equal consequence.

This isn't about greed. It’s about fairness.

Fairness is a feminist act.

12. Treat Salaries Like Business Revenue

You don’t need to cut coffee. You need to cut what's not ROI-positive.

Tired of “don’t buy lattes” advice?
Yeah. So am I.

Your salary isn’t a handout. It’s revenue.
You are a business. Your body, your brain, your skills. That’s your operating machinery.

And like any good business, you should:

• Know your fixed vs. variable costs

• Assess return on investment (ROI) of every recurring expense

• Invest profits (savings) into R&D (upskilling, health, rest)

• Fire low-value vendors (subscriptions, clutter, bad habits)

• Raise prices when value increases (i.e., ask for more money)

This reframing does two things:

1. It de-shames spending on you

2. It reorients decisions around impact, not sacrifice

You don’t need a smaller life. You need a smarter one.

13. Learn the Rule of 72

If you don’t understand compounding, time will quietly bankrupt you.

Here’s the rule:
72 ÷ interest rate = years it’ll take your money to double.

So:

• 12% interest = 6 years

• 6% interest = 12 years

• 3% interest = 24 years

Why this matters:
Most savings accounts give ~3%.
Inflation eats ~6–7%.
Which means that if you’re only saving, you’re actually losing value over time.

Investing isn’t optional. It’s how you survive time.

Start small. But start.
Compounding doesn’t wait. And the cost of delay is invisible until it’s irreversible.

Every day you wait is a day you’re giving up future income.
Compound returns reward the early and punish the passive.

14. Make ‘Fun Money’ a Line Item

“oy that’s budgeted is joy without guilt.

Ever feel bad after ordering takeout, buying that lipstick, or booking a weekend away?

That guilt isn’t moral. It’s misaligned planning.

Budgets that don’t include joy will always break.
Because what’s the point of freedom if it feels like deprivation?

So, build fun in. Make it official.

Create a “guilt-free” category. Even ₹2,000/month for pleasure is powerful.
Spend it. Don’t save it. Don’t justify it.

Why? Because this is how you:

• Build sustainability into your money system

• Break the guilt loop around self-indulgence

• Prove that discipline and desire can coexist

Self-control isn’t about suppression.
It’s about permission that’s planned.

15. Financial Safety = Nervous System Safety

If you’re always in survival mode, you can’t make strategic decisions.

Ever notice how money anxiety shows up physically?

• Racing heart

• Sleepless nights

• Avoidance

• Panic when your phone pings with a bank alert?

That’s not you being bad with money. That’s your nervous system going into fight-or-flight.

The only way to shift out of that?
You need buffers. Not just financial, but emotional.

What helps:

• Emergency funds = emotional space

• Auto-savings = future trust

• Clarity = nervous system relief

• Knowing your numbers = lowered cortisol

When your brain knows you’ll be okay, it stops spiraling into disaster planning. That’s when real strategy becomes possible.

16. Talk Money With Your Friends

Secrecy breeds shame. Conversation breeds power.

Ever wonder why no one talks about:

• How much they make?

• How much rent they pay?

• What their ESOPs are worth (or not)?

• How much debt they’re in?

That silence? It’s not classy. It’s control.

Because the less we share, the more we suffer alone.
And the more isolated we feel, the more mistakes we make in private.

Here’s what to do:

• Start small. “Hey, I’ve been thinking about saving. What tools do you use?”

• Have a monthly money group chat

• Normalize venting and celebrating financial wins

Wealth hoarded is useless. But wealth knowledge shared is a revolution.

17. Learn to Spot Financial Gaslighting

If you’re constantly doubting your reality around money, someone’s benefitting from that confusion.

Financial gaslighting sounds like:

• “Why do you care? I said I’ll handle it.”

• “You’re overreacting, money isn’t everything.”

• “You wouldn’t understand this stuff anyway.”

• “It’s not your money, technically.”

• “You’re being dramatic. I didn’t hide it, I just didn’t mention it.”

Sound familiar?

Financial gaslighting happens in:

• Families (inheritance silence, favoritism, secrecy)

• Relationships (power plays, manipulated dependency, hidden debt)

• Workplaces (“You’re lucky to even be paid this,” “Raises aren’t about performance,” “Equity isn’t worth anything anyway”)

It’s not just manipulative.

It’s destabilizing by design because the more confused and uncertain you feel, the easier it is to keep you small.

Here’s how to fight back:

• Ask for clarity in writing, always

• Build your own records: income, outflow, assets, contributions

• Use tools to track joint finances

• Inherit or gift? Insist on documentation

• If it feels shady, it probably is

And most importantly:
Trust your intuition. If you’re afraid to bring something up, that’s already a red flag.

Gaslighting works by eroding your confidence.
Rebuilding it starts with truth, receipts, and your own spreadsheet.

18. Ask For More, Always

They’re not overpaying. You’re undercharging.

Raise your hand if you’ve:

• Lowballed a freelance quote

• Said “thank you” instead of “is there flexibility?”

• Accepted the first salary offer just to feel safe

The world taught women to feel lucky just to be in the room.

But we’re not here to feel lucky.
We’re here to be valued.

Make asking your default setting.
Ask for:

• More pay

• Better terms

• Higher budgets

• Clearer equity

• Respectful timelines

And if you hear “no”? Great. You still learned where the line is.

Men ask. And get.
You’re not bossy. You’re just done playing small.

If no one told you this before, let me say it now:

You are not bad with money.
You are not behind.
You were just navigating a system that never planned for your success.

But that’s the thing about being the first: you get to build something different.
You get to make financial decisions rooted in clarity, not shame.
You get to hold the pen and rewrite what freedom looks like for you.

So go back and re-read.
Pick one truth that sticks.
Act on it. Share it.
Start your own version of financial safety, and help others do the same.

And if this helped you, send it to your group chat.
Bookmark it for the bad days.
Forward it to the sister, colleague, or friend who’s quietly struggling but still showing up.

Because no one’s coming to rescue us.
But together, we’re not waiting to be saved.
We’re learning, building, asking, and earning on our own terms.

Let’s build a better money story. Together.

Love,

Harnidh x

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